Optipessimism.

[I think I should elaborate on my life philosophy a little more fully; I think it explains quite a bit.]

I am (in fact) a
closet optimist, Against
my better judgment and best interests...
I can't help but Think that somehow
things will get better than this--and
This really ain't all that bad. I am: a
cynic, misanthropist, overall overly overt
worshiper of anything facecious that
brings out the best (flaws) in people, and
a pessimist. A hopeful one.
All because, when I'm alone, I can walk barefoot
and hear the ground sing.